Waluigi's Warriors
by Gustauve-Drakenhime
Summary: Follow the nefarious exploits of Waluigi and his team as they shoot for a chance at the Strikes Cup! This is the manifestation of all the meandering thoughts, scornful whimsies, and bits and pieces of humur that I find while playing Mario Strikers Charged
1. Chapter One: We're Gonna Win

**Waluigi's Warriors**

A Mario Strikes Charged Story

Gustauve Drakenhime III

Authors Notes: Hello again. First off, to anyone who is even the slightest bit miffed over the lack of any new chapters on Diamond City Contra, I would like to apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused. My fiancé, Rebbecca, had recently sent me a copy of 'Mario Strikers; Charged' for the Nintendo Wii (Ich Liebe du sier mut, Babe!), and have just now beaten anything and everything there is to beat in the game, which means I can now put down the Wii-mote (or rifle, depending upon the situation) and get back to writing stories. This is a collection of meandering thoughts, scornful whimsies, and bits and pieces of humor here and there, all manifested in the form of a story format that follows the nefarious exploits of Waluigi and his team as they take place in 'Mario Strikes; Charged'. Expect large amounts of bias on my part, as Waluigi happens to be my favorite character.

And so, without further delay, I would like to present to you this story.

--

Chapter One: We're Gonna Win!

--

"- _I don't know about you, Ted, but I could really warm up to this guy!" "There's a reason why everybody hates him, I mean, don't _

_you find it odd that… I don't know, help me out here Rikki!" "The guy's a dirty cheater." "Oh come on, why does everyone seem to _

_think that, just because Waluigi Wario is somehow talented at football, it automatically means he cheated? Can you- can you _

_answer that, Ted?" "Yeah John, I think I can; first off, I don't think I have to remind anyone here about the Tennis Tournament _

_fiasco-" "Oh, give me a br-" "I'm not done explaining myself!" "Well, by all means, please continue." "Thank you; anyways, as I _

_was saying – everyone remembers how both he and his brother caused millions of coins worth in collateral damage, as well as _

_several injury related law-suits, all because they decided to use underhanded tactics in order to win, which also leads to the _

_interesting matter of how he managed to weasel his way out while his brother took all the flack!" "Don't forget about the fact that _

_the guy's got a few criminal records under his belt." "Thank you, Rikki, for bringing that up, because that leads us to my second _

_point – the man's a thief; says here that he's been arrested for five counts of burglary, two counts of grand theft auto, twenty-_

_seven counts of assault with intent to cause bodily harm, three counts of DUI, not to mention that he's been booked for running a _

_protection racket, money laundering, illegal gambling, drug trafficking, and illicit arms dealings! I mean, come on; this guy makes _

_his brother look like a saint!" "Jeeze-Louise, he had how many counts of assault?" "Twenty-seven and counting, Rikki." "I still _

_don't understand where you're getting the whole idea that he's a cheater from – all I can see is that the guy's had a few run-ins _

_with the law; doesn't mention a thing about cheatin-" "Third and final point – all you have to do is look at him, and you can tell _

_right off the back that Waluigi Wario is bad news!" "What? What the hell does that have to do with anything, Ted?" "Makes since _

_to me…" "A freakin' picture of my great aunt Helen would make since to you, Rikki!" "What are you saying, John?" "I think you _

_know damned well what I'm saying, unless you're stu-" "Hey-hey-hey, let's not start this right now; all I'm tryin' to say is that he _

_cheats, and everyone knows it… I mean, it's not as if he's even gonna make it to the semi-finals anyways, right? After all, he _

_never has won a single event before, so what makes him think he ever w-_" 'BLAM!!' In an instant, the radio was gone; all that

remained was a smoldering pile of debris where the sledge-hammer had made contact. Dry Bones stared incredulously at

what had once been a radio, _his _radio – then looked towards the perpetrator of such a heinous act of destruction. The cause

of his loss was none other than Waluigi Wario, who for lack of a better word looked mad – very, very mad. "Hey, man," he

cried,"what the hell was that for?" "…Nothin'" replied the tall, gaunt man as he proceeded to turn and leave the room with

his sledge hammer in tow. Turning towards Hammer Bro (a fellow team member), Dry Bones asked "Dude, what's eatin'

him?" Before Hammer Bro could answer, however, the voice of their team's goalie, Kritter, replied "Oh, you know how the

boss is, always gettin' riled up over the littlest thing – kinda like how Toad gets his knickers in a bunch when people call him

short." "Damnit all," cried another voice from the kitchen, "for the last time, I am _not_ short – Okay!?" "Take it easy little guy, I

didn't mean any-" "There ya go again, calling me little!" "Take it easy, Toad, I didn't mean to insult ya or anything, I was just

making a point." "Yeah, whatever…" The few seconds of silence that followed were shattered when both Kritter and Toad

exited the kitchen, each carrying a bowl. "Okay," exclaimed Kritter, "who wants popcorn?" As they were situating themselves

on the sofa, Hammer Bro chose that moment to answer Dry Bones' question. "Personally, I think it's just the stress that's

getting to him, that's all; I mean, we barely made past the preliminaries, so of course he's gonna be on edge." With that

said, they proceeded to watch re-runs of previous games…

--

As Waluigi walked down the hallway and towards the Captain's Lounge, he thought to himself '_Nope, there was absolutely no _

_reason what-so-ever for me to do what I just did; and that's the way I like it.'_ In reality, though, there were many reasons for

the tall man's animosity; one being the fact that, despite his best efforts, he could never really escape the persecution that

constantly followed him everywhere he went. Another reason was the fact that he was sick and tired of being called a

cheater (even if he really was – but that wasn't the point!) and a loser. Still, another reason may have been the fact that he

personally didn't care for that particular station. But perhaps the biggest factor was that he just wanted to smash something

with his brand new sledge-hammer!

--

Something was amiss. He could tell the minute he entered the Captain's Lounge that something was conspiring. Maybe it

was the fact that, the moment he entered the room, all conversations ceased and all eyes were upon him. Maybe it had

something to do with all of the dirty looks he was receiving. And maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact

that many of the dartboards had a picture of him placed in their centers – many of which had darts already in them!

Choosing to ignore everything and everyone in the room, he continued to head towards _his _table, the one that no one in

their right mind ever approached. As he continued, he couldn't help but feel all of the eyes that were more than likely

shooting daggers at him. '_Just ignore them,_' he thought, '_it's not like you care whether or not they accept you as an equal…_' That

was when the whispering started back up – some of which could easily be discerned, those weren't the ones that bothered

him though. No, the whisperings that really got under his skin were the ones that he couldn't discern – the ones that were

more than likely about him. Again, he chose to ignore the other captains. As he approached his table, he was shocked to find

that someone was already there – and not just anyone; it was none other than his older brother Wario! '_What's he doing _

_here?_' wondered Waluigi, '_He doesn't usually come in here unless it pertains to... Oh no, I bet he's here to chew me out about _

_our last match-up!_' As he quietly debated on whether or not he should just turn around and leave, he suddenly realized that

Wario had already spotted him and was waving towards him with an unusually large grin. Deciding to get things over with,

Waluigi proceeded towards the table, ultimately sitting across from his older brother. The silence was killing him; he really

didn't want to be yelled at by his brother, especially in public. The grin on Wario's face was getting progressively bigger – it

almost looked like he was straining his face! Suddenly, the silence was interrupted by the older of the two. "I thought I'd

find ya here…" he chimed. "Yeah…" replied Waluigi – this was really awkward for him. "Listen, Wario," he continued, "I just

wanna apologize for the trick I pulled to get that last goal - nobody deserves _that_, so I guess what I need to say is that I'm

sorry…" Wario stared at him as if he had grown another head; "Waluigi," he exclaimed, "did that just come out of _your_

mouth?" "Um, I guess…" "Well," replied Wario," That's fine and all, but why the hell are ya apologizin' to me for – if ya ask

me, I'd say that was a pretty damned good move you pulled there!" "So," Waluigi said, "You're not mad at me?" "Mad at

you," shouted Wario, "why the hell would I be mad at you, when you managed to beat me fair and square!" "Last time I

checked, breaking someone's leg intentionally doesn't exactly constitute as fair and square in the rule books!" hissed

Waluigi. With a hearty laugh that caused many of the other captains in the room to look towards the two of them (many of

whom weren't very keen on having either of the Wario brothers in the semi-finals – as their faces clearly showed.), Wario

chortled out, "It is in my book – but that's beside the point; the point is that you made it to the semi-finals when everyone

said that you couldn't make it, and I'm pretty proud of you for that." "Wow," exclaimed Waluigi; a small smile forming on his

lips, "th-thanks, Wario – that means a lot to me…" Wario's grin seemed to have grown two-fold, which in turn caused the

small workings of a grin on his little brother's face bloom into a full blown toothy smile. His high spirits, along with one of the

few honest-to-goodness smiles he had ever had, were instantly shot down when he heard a particularly nasty comment

coming from a fellow team captain, Princess Peach, which was obviously about him – "- cannot believe that someone like _him_

is even allowed to participate in the semi-finals; I mean, _really._" "Oh, don't get so bent out of shape about it Peach," this

voice belonged to another team captain, Princess Daisy, as she continued, "I mean, it's not like he's even gonna survive the

first round…" Apparently, Wario had also heard the exchange between the two princesses – "Hey," he said, "don't let 'em

get to ya – their just all bent outta shape because they know you'll beat 'em, no problem what-so-ever!" Rolling his eyes,

the younger of the two replied, "Heh, _yeah_, _right_." "I'm serious," crowed Wario, "the way you play it's a wonder that I'm the

only captain out of commission – you'll beat these losers, no prob!" "You really think so?" asked Waluigi, the tiniest spark of

hope triggering in his heart. "I _know_ so, bro – you'll win, and I'll be there coverin' yer back the whole way; someone's gotta

keep those media _vultures _offa' ya." As he said this, Waluigi took note of the subtle change in his older brother's tone.

'Whadda ya expect,' he thought to himself, 'after all, the media nearly destroyed his relationship with Mona; I'd be pretty

pissed too.' Without warning, Wario was all smiles again, and with another hearty laugh he said, "Anyways, I'm gonna be

rootin' for you the whole way – just remember that when you start thinkin' the world's against you!" Waluigi's smile was

back with a vengeance, and this time, nothing anybody said would change that! "Thanks Wario, thanks for everything." "Just

go out there and win!" "Yeah, I'll do it – for the both of us!" and with that, Waluigi got up and literally ran out of the

Captains Lounge.

--

"Shhhh, Here comes my favorite part!" exclaimed Toad. All four of them stared intently at the screen for a few seconds

before bursting out into raucous cheers and laughter! "I – hahaha – I can't believe how – heheh – how you pulled that off!"

giggled Hammer Bro. "And did you see the face on their goalie," crowed Kritter, "that was priceless!" "I still can't believe that

I managed to do that – after the beating that Birdo gave me!" "Hey, man," replied Dry Bones, "there's a reason Waluigi

chose _us_." Indeed, there was a reason – of all the potential recruits, the four of them were the only ones that managed to

survive Waluigi's brutal training regime – many of those who failed were so messed up that they would most likely never be

able to play football again! With such hardships, it was very easy to hate the man; after all, all he ever did was laugh at

their pain! But, as they gradually got to know him, they inexplicably grew to like him and his mannerisms. The same could be

said of Waluigi – for the first few months, all he ever did was make fun of them, call them names, and laugh at any hardship

brought their way. But as time progressed, he began to address them by name, talk to them in a somewhat civil manner,

even sharing in some of their shenanigans – like setting off fireworks around the Strikers Complex after curfew. "Yeah,"

boasted Kritter, "he chose you cause you're one tough little dude!" "There ya go again; jeeze, how many times do I have to

say that I'm _not _little?!" "Oh, you know I didn't mean any-" All noise seized with the audible 'click' that signaled the arrival of

their captain through the door. "Hey fellas, I'm back!" "We're in the den!" shouted Hammer Bro. Seconds later Waluigi

entered the den. "Hey," he exclaimed, "is that the match where Toad did that one move; ya know, the one where his shoes

melted off?" "Yep." replied Dry Bones. "Oh, I love this one – move over!" In a flash, Waluigi was on the couch, eating

popcorn and laughing with the rest of his crew. It was at that moment that everyone agreed – they would stick with this,

and they would _win_!

* * *

So, what do you think of it? Is it okay? If you find anything wrong with it, please tell me and I'll fix it! Also, I would like to say thank you all for even bothering to read my stories – as that makes me feel accomplished! May the blessings of the Lord follow you wherever you may be.


	2. Chapter 2: Round One

**Waluigi's Warrior**

A Mario Strikers Charged Story

Gustauve Drakenhime III

Author's Notes: Hello everyone! Diamond City Contra is currently on hold at the moment – it's not that I don't have any material; it's just that I can only focus on one story at a time. Because I have done nothing but shoot at bad-guys and play Strikers Charged, that's all that I can think of at the moment… that and I'm a notorious procrastinator. Also, I would like to thank 'TrichaTheShort' for her review on the first chapter – I greatly appreciate any and all feedback.

And so as to not bore anyone out of their skull with my banter, here's chapter two of 'Waluigi's Warriors'.

--

Chapter Two: Round One - Waluigi versus Yoshi

--

… "God, are you hearing this?!" asked Kritter. "That's gotta be one big hell-of-a crowd, to make that much noise!" added

Toad. They were in their locker room, waiting for the match to begin – but by the sound of the fans, you would think that

it'd already started! Waluigi came bursting into the room, a grim, yet determined frown already in-place. "Alright, listen up

boys," he barked, "it's the first round of the semi-finals, and if we wanna make it to the cup then we had better not fuck

this one up!" Before anyone could interject, he continued, "Okay, our first opponent is Yoshi and his team of freaks – I

don't think I need to remind anyone about the last time we came up against that gay little bastard," at this, everyone

winced, "so this is an ample opportunity to get some good ol' fashioned revenge." "What's the plan, boss?" Kritter asked.

"We need to keep him and his team on _their _side of the field," replied their captain, "I don't care what you have to do so

long as you keep 'em off our side – that means we gotta start this round on the offensive." Turning towards Toad he

continued, "In order to pull this off, I'm gonna need _you_ by my side at _all_ times." "I can do that!" exclaimed Toad, excitedly.

Turning towards Hammer Bro and Dry Bones, Waluigi went on, "You two will need to stay close to the median for the

majority of the match, only leave it when we're assured a victory." With a nod, the two of them replied, "Right." "What

about me, boss?" asked Kritter. "Those hands are more than qualified to be used for more than stopping a football…" A

buzzer went off in the locker room. "That's our queue," said Waluigi, "now let's go out there and break some skull-caps!"

With shouts of affirmation, the team ran out the door and into their first match.

--

The stadium was packed! There were rows upon rows of screaming fans, all of whom were waiting for their favored team

to arrive. Surprisingly, many of them appeared to be fans of _their _team – donning purple clothes and waving purple flags.

As they proceeded towards the center of the field, Waluigi got a good look at their adversaries. There was a Birdo, a

Monty Mole, and a Koopa – a fairly well-balanced team, a bit on the slow side though. As they lined themselves up, Toad

remarked, "I swear to God, if that faggot tries to lick me again, I'll kill him!" This garnered a few chuckles from the team – it

was common knowledge that Toad was homophobic; something to do with his past – but no one ever asked and he never

told. Waluigi's smirk suddenly disappeared when he noticed that the enemy Koopa was leering at him. 'Wait a minute,' he

thought, 'I know that Koopa – yeah, he's the guy that gave me that shiner the first time around!' Turning to Hammer Bro,

he announced, "Change of plan – you see that guy right there?" "Ya mean the Koopa?" "Yeah," he confirmed, "I want you

to knock his ass _out_!" With a nod of confirmation, Hammer Bro set his sights on his new quarry. All eyes turned skyward as

Yoshi made his entrance – striking a pose. The buzzer rang, and in an instant the game was on! In a flash, Waluigi took

possession of the ball whilst simultaneously sliding past Yoshi! Stunned by the rush, Yoshi stumbled over his self.

"Wahaha, losers!" cackled the purple menace, as he ran down the center-field and towards the enemy goalie. 'Just gotta

test the water, that's all.' He thought to himself.

--

In a flash, he was up in the goalie box; grinning like a mad-man, he charged up for a shot and shouted, "Surprise!" The

goalie took the bait; leaving his post to charge the lanky captain. Grin widening, he hissed "_Sucker._" Realizing too late that

he'd just fallen for one of the oldest maneuvers in the book – the goalie tried desperately to rectify the situation, but it

was too late! Letting loose a massive kick, Waluigi made the first score of the game! Running towards the median, he gave

a nod to the rest of his team – lining up on the median line, the entire team pulled off their signature move, the 'crotch

chop'.

--

The buzzer sounded off, and once again, Waluigi snatched the ball! Unlike last time, the enemy was prepared for this – the

Koopa was upon him in seconds, forcing him to turn tail and head towards the median! He could see the Birdo to his left,

and instantly rolled out of the way of what would no doubt have been a very painful tackle. Still keeping up pace, he

headed towards Hammer Bro. Instantly catching on, Hammer Bro. began running towards his captain – intent on fulfilling

his mandate. Grinning from ear to ear, Waluigi gave a nod and dodged to the left, just in time to avoid Hammer Bro.'s

mallet! The Koopa took the hit full-force; on the ground and in a daze, he could no longer bother Waluigi. Giving a nod of

thanks, Waluigi made a U-turn and continued on his way. 'This is a hell of a lot easier than I imagined it would b-' his

thoughts were momentarily interrupted when he noticed that the Monty Mole was seconds away from colliding with him.

Thinking on his feet, he punted the ball towards Dry Bones, who had subtly positioned himself right outside the goalie box,

and proceeded to take the hit. Rolling into his fall, he got up in time to see Dry Bones pull off his signature move, the

'Electro-Shocker', and proceed to score! The crowd went wild; this was what they came to see!

--

Running towards his fellow team-mate, Toad exclaimed, "Hell of a shot you made there!" "Thanks," replied Dry Bones, "but

to be honest, I didn't think that he'd actually pass it to me." As he said this, the two of them turned to look towards their

captain – as usual, he was rubbing it in the opposition's face; mercilessly taunting the Monty Mole that tackled him.

"Jeeze," said Toad, "you'd think he'd stop taking it so seriously." They watched as their captain ran towards Hammer Bro;

patting him on the back and giving a nod of recognition. Then he turned in their direction and gave a 'thumbs up'. "Eh,"

replied Dry Bones, "it makes him happy, I think."

--

The third round started off just like the previous two; Waluigi took possession of the ball in a matter of seconds – and ran

down the center of the field. As demanded of him by his captain, Toad stuck close behind him. When they were only a few

meters from the goalie, Waluigi shouted, "Now!" Kicking the ball behind him, Waluigi proceeded to rush the goalie as an

artifice in the hopes of distracting him from where his priorities should have been. Taking the bait without a second

thought, the goalie was stunned when the buzzer signaled that a point had been made. It was upon looking back at the

net and seeing Toad standing there with a smug grin that the goalie realized all too soon what had really happened. A

large replay screen only confirmed what he had already deduced – Waluigi had passed the ball back to Toad, while at the

same time maintaining the goalies attention long enough for the playmaker to slip past them and score a point! The crowd

went insane – apparently, very few of them had actually witnessed what had really transpired until the replay; it was

phenomenal! Lifting the Toadstool upon on his shoulders, Waluigi paraded towards the center of the field. "Ya did good,

kid – real good!" Basking in his captains praises, Toad couldn't help but beam.

--

There were only 42 seconds left on the clock, and Waluigi wanted those seconds to count – Turning to the automated

referee drone, he yelled "Time-out!" while forming the customary 'T' symbol with his arms. "Time-out called…" announced

the drone – it then turned towards another drone and apparently began to discuss whether or not to allow such a

request. Fifteen seconds later and an agreement was reached upon – "Time-out granted." With a deviant grin, Waluigi

beckoned the rest of his team towards him. "Alright, we've got less than a minute and he score's 3 – 0," he explained,

"now normally, I would consider this a perfect game, but not this time; not after the beating we took from these losers the

first time around – I wanna make them hurt… literally; let's go for five!" A collective gasp was their first response, followed

by a few murmurs. Finally Toad piped in, "Welp, I'm all for it." Kritter soon followed then Hammer Bro. and finally Dry Bones

– it was unanimously decided that they would shoot for five – breaking the huddle, Waluigi turned towards the referee

drone and shouted, "Time-in!"

--

Assuming their positions, the team waited for the buzzer to sound – they didn't have to wait long. Things started off the

same for the first three seconds; Waluigi took possession of the ball and headed for the goal… then things took a turn for

the worst. The Koopa came out of nowhere and virtually blind-sided him. With a grunt, he hit the ground. Rolling into his

fall, he quickly righted himself in time to see that the ball was now in Yoshi's possession. The little dinosaur was speeding

down the field at an incredible pace dodging anything that tried to stop him with great finesse, until finally he was upon

Kritter. Yoshi failed to notice the enormous grin on the goalie's face as he neared the goal, nor did he notice the wall of

thistle and vines that was fast approaching him from behind. It wasn't until he was cut off by said wall of flora that he

realized something was amiss, and by that time it was far too late. Waluigi had successfully implemented his special

technique and had not only barred Yoshi's path, but effectively enclosed the both of them in a solid ring of impenetrable

thorns. With no one to claim possession of the ball, Critter immediately seized the opportunity to grab it. Wasting no time,

he tossed the ball over the hedge and into the fray, where Toad was waiting. Leaping into the air, Toad performed a

beautifully executed flip-kick – send the ball towards Dry Bones, who head-butted it towards Hammer Bro. who pulled out

a hammer and, with a mighty swing, slammed it towards the goal. With such power behind it, the ball virtually rocketed at

a wide arc past the goalie and into the net! The score was now 4 – 0 with 26 seconds left on the clock.

--

Just before the buzzer sounded off for the final round, Waluigi shouted to his team, "Rush 'em!" Knowing full well what this

odd exclamation meant, they prepared themselves. In an instant, Waluigi took possession of the ball, as usual, and

proceeded to run down the field. The only difference – the rest of the team (minus Kritter) were running down the field

with him, forming a diamond. Knocking down anyone in their path, they finally came close enough to implement their plan.

Waluigi punted the ball towards Dry Bones, who was on his 4:30. Once he did this, he began to harass the goalie with

several vicious comments about his mother, weaving in and out of the goalies grasp in an attempt to distract him. Dry

Bones, who now had possession of the ball, ran forwards, as if attempting to score – this managed to fool the Monty Mole,

who at the time had been taking up a defensive position near the goal, into action. But just as the lumbering oaf began to

attack, Dry bones passed the ball to Toad, who was on his 8! It finally came to the goalie's attention that the ball was in

play. Immediately realizing what the Purple Menace was really up to, the goalie rushed his aggravator and forcibly ran him

into the ground. By this time, Toad had already passed the ball Hammer Bro. who was already making his way towards the

goal! Now diverting his full attention to the Hammer Bro. the enemy goalie prepared for the shot. Pulling out his Mallet,

Hammer Bro. charged up and shot, and swung with all his might – and hit the ball off course of the net! Momentarily

stunned, the goalie only watched as the ball flew past him and towards… Waluigi!? Waluigi, who had once again rolled into

his fall was up seconds after he was downed, just in time to receive the ball that Hammer Bro. had passed to him. With

cackle, he head-butted the ball in and scored – with two seconds left to spare! The crowd went absolutely insane! Fans

attempted to enter the field, kept at bay by security drones, many fans got up and danced, even more began to hug

complete strangers! It truly was an awesome spectacle to behold! As he made his way towards the center of the field,

Waluigi raised his arms high and cried "Waluigi!" – the fanatical cheering and booing increased tenfold!

--

As the team entered their locker room, they couldn't help but feel that they could and would indeed win this! "That was

great guys," exclaimed Waluigi, "keep playin' like that and we're assured to win!" "Keep playin' like _that_," replied Dry

Bones, "and you'll wind up in a full-body cast." "Whadda ya mean by _that_?" asked Toad. "I mean," continued Dry Bones,

"that our captain took more than a fair-share of our collective bruises; I saw the little number that goalie did on him – it

wasn't pretty." "Guys," cried Waluigi, "I'm fine, really – a shower and a good night's rest and I'll be good as new." "You

sure?" asked Dry Bones. "I'm positive." As they left for the Strikers Complex, Waluigi tried to mask the limp he had in his

right leg – '_Then again, a little Aspirin wouldn't hurt_…'

--

Thus ends Chapter Two.

--

* * *

So, what do you think of it? Is it okay? If you find anything wrong with it, please tell me and I'll fix it! Also, I would like to say thank you all for even bothering to read my stories – as that makes me feel accomplished! May the blessings of the Lord follow you wherever you may be.


End file.
